Dear Diary,
It is hard to love someone in silent. It is hard to keep that love to yourself knowing that it want to be set free, to be let go and to share.
I had it once when I was in college. I was so in love with this guy, however I have no choice but to keep this feeling to myself. He was my one year my senior and I fell in love with him on the first sight. But every time I see him I know that he has a soft spot here in my heart. I feel a certain affection towards him but it's so hard to keep this feeling to myself. It was so hard loving him in silent. It was so hard to be just his friend.
I had almost told him of my feeling, but come to think of it, I would rather love him like a mute and be his friend rather than to tell him that I love him and face the consequences that he might go away from me.
Now after more than 20 years occasionally I would think of him. Not that I am still in love with him anymore. It just sometimes I wonder what would happen if I have the strength or courage and told him the truth. What if?
Silent is hard, but bitter regret is the harder..................................
Signed off for now
LOLA
