Happy Rocking Monday!!!!

Dear Diary,

Do you feel like this on every Monday?

or like this?

But,

Coz,

Muahhhhhhh!!!!

Signed off for now
LOLA

Sibling Rivalry

Dear Diary,

I had a shock of my life yesterday when I heard a commotion in my children's bedroom.  It turned out that both of my teenagers were quarreling and it ended with my elder son smacked his brother.  Fortunately it happened just for a while and they became bestfriend-bro again.

Usually, Alan is so protective with his brother, Awan since he is the head of the family.  He is always persistent that it is his job to take care of me and his brother and will do anything for us.  In other hand, Awan has full respect of his older brother and Alan is a role model to him. 

Nevertheless, I always worried whenever they had a fight or quarrel.  It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch or hear they quarrel with one another.  I know that even though they are best of friends with their siblings, it is common for them to fight, and it is also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other.

It is often for sibling rivalry to starts even before the second child is born and continues as the chidlren grow and compete for everything - from toys to attention.  As children reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.

The kind of conflict is stressful and upsetting for everyone.  Yet it is hard to know how to put stop on the fighting, or even whether you should get involve at all.   

My advice whenever possible, do not get involved. You can only step in if there is a danger of physical harm.  Because if you always intervene, you risk creating other problems as they may start expecting your help and wait for you to come to the rescue rather than learning to work out the problems on their own or make it appear to one child that another is always being "protected". 

We should encourage them to resolve the crisis themselves.  If you do step in, try to resolve problems with your children, not for them.

• Give them space for a little while and not immediately rehash the conflict.  
• Don't put too much focus on figuring out which child to blame.  It takes two to tango - anyone who is involved is partly responsible.
• Try to set up a win-win situation so that each child gains something.  
• Ask them to forgive and forget.  Besides, they will be together for eternity. Nothing can break this bonding.

Remember, as children cope with disputes, they also learn important skills that will serve them for life - like how to value other person's perspective, how to compromise and negotiate, and how to control aggressive impulses.

Just remember, I always love you both.... equally...

Signed off for now

LOLA