I am in love

Dear Diary,

Got it from my old blog.

 How do you know that you are totally fell in love with someone?

I know I am in love when,

My heart skip a beat when I look into his eyes,
My heart beats racing when his skin touches mine,
My heart melts when I see him smile,
My heart breaks when I see him with another girl, and
My heart froze just by thinking of losing him...

Yes, I still have that goosebumps every time I think of him.......


Signed off for now
LOLA

Spanish Omelette my way....

Dear Diary,

First time i came across this recipe was via Diva Channel "Hot Guys Can Cook".  Basically, the only reason I watched the channel due to their hot tamale guys.  Seriously they are extremely set me on fire!!!!

But the recipe by Drew Rivera had caught my eyes.  It's so easy to cook, yet look so yummylicious.  So, after several times trying and perfecting the recipe, below is the recipe, my way....

100g boloney (preferably spicy chilli or cheese) - diced

100g beef bacon - 

100 sausages

1 red capsicum - chopped

1 green capsicum - chopped

1 small tomato - chopped 

1 handful broccoli - chopped

1 clove of garlic - chopped into really small pieces

3 eggs (depends on the grade. more if smaller)

Grated cheese (i put all kind of cheese that I have in the fridge)

1/2 cup of milk

Olive oil or butter

1. Add small amount of olive oil/butter onto the frying pan.
2. Add in chopped garlic.
3. Fry the boloney on low heat.
4. Add in capsicum and broccoli.
5. Add beef bacon and fry.
6. Add sausages and fry again.
7. Whisk eggs in a bowl.
8. Add in milk in a bowl.  If no milk, you can add mayonnaise (it taste better)
9. Pour the mixture into the frying pan.
10. Add in tomato.
11. Lastly, at in the cheese on top of it.
12. Flip the omelette and serve it hot...

WALLAAAAA!!!! Bon appetite......

pic: google

Signed off for now

LOLA

I'm a daddy's girl

Dear Diary,

I can be considered as a happy child when I was young.  As the youngest from 3 girls, I am lucky that I'm the daddy's girl.

Basically, my dad doted on me, always being protective and always give me whatever I want, be it material wise or attention wise.  As a daddy's girl, I definitely aware that I was always my dad's life and more often than not, took advantage of the fact that he can't stand to see my cry.  I can never do anything wrong and is as innocent as the day is long. 

Lots of time I practically took advantage of my dad's affection to my benefit.  One occassion I had charged my car's repair cost tripple that the original price.  Another occasion, I bought something so expensive and charged back to my dad's account.  By the way, I had the access of my dad's bank accounts whereby my mum didn't have the pleasure to do that.  In addition, I had dyed my hair colour to the extreme that he was practically stunned when he saw it for the first time (and he still has to pay for it).

He always try his very best to shelter me from all the unsavory aspects of life, preventing me from developing independence.  With the view that I am delicate and so helpless can easily be called into little princess.

At the same time, being a daddy's girl means I have great particularity for my dad and will do anything and everything to please him.  I always put him on top of world where no other... let me stress it out again.... NO OTHER man could ever measure up.  I strive to impress my dad, seeking his approval and highly concerned about how he thinks of me.

Now he is gone forever. He left me in 2006 due to liver cancer.  I managed to take care and  nurse him for four weeks in two different admission.  I was always by his side, chatted with him, read him news, told him current gossip especially on his favourite artists eventhough he was comatose on his final weeks.  I was glad I had done everything I could to make his final journey as easy as possible. I never left his bed except at one time where I need to do something at home.  Of all the days, I took that day to go home and took bath and he took his last breath while I was on the way back to hospital.  To think positively, maybe he didn't want me to see it happens. 

He was not perfect, of course.  But I never doubted his love for me and others.  His love was so constant and unconditional.  Certainly, my dad is one of Allah's greatest gifts to me, his little girl.

I love you infinity and beyond.... ABAH

Signed off for now

LOLA

Peers...

Dear Diary,

I have been working in various fields in different companies for almost 20 years. So, I have some shares of experience on peer-to-peer collaboration or how to be a great work partner.  

Don't be a control freak!

If you have the constant urge to control, be it situations, people or even conversations, it will definitely undermine effective collaboration with your work partners.  Partnering is all about give-and-take process in which no one gets to play the BOSS.  Please listen and watch for verbal and non-verbal clues that suggest other people are feeling pressured or being pushed.  One of the best ways to give up control in a conversation is to ask more open-ended questions and make fewer opinionated statements.

Spend time with them

The more time you spend working together, the easier and more natural to partnering process will feel.  Peers that get together often feel more comfortable asking for input, help, and participation that to those who avoid each other.  Peers who engage other peers whenever they need something will receive a colder shoulder or less helpful response.  Effective collaborative peers (extroverts or introverts), know the value of cultivating and building working relationship.

Resolve any past partnership failures

Old conflicts or arguments affect the way people relate to one another, either in present or future.  You should take initiative to resolve any prior relationship issues in order to pave the way for better and more productive collaboration in the future.  Peers who resolve their differences will also feel less stress in work related.  How about if you are faced with a peer who doesn't seem willing to improve the relationship? You can try these approach:

• Can you look at the situation from their perspective? Have you isolated the key issues or problems? It may be that what you thought was the problem is not what is actually bothering him. 
• You are the only person you can control.  Even if your peer is hanging onto a grudge, make sure that you continue to act and relate in a manner that is professional and collaborative.  Maybe if you continue to take the high road, he might come around in time.
• To work with others whenever possible.  You may still need to conduct business with that peer, but when given the choice, it is most productive to work with those who reciprocate.

Communicate on your peers' behalf

Effective communication is one of the most reliable predictors of a healthy partnership.  Keep peers in the loop and represent one another well in the meetings/conversations are great partners.  Communicating with peers should be on regular basis and it is also crucial for peers to communicate well on each other's behalf.  We should be willing and able to represent our work partners' interests and needs when that person is not present in the conversation or meeting.  You may need to defend them (so long as it concrete, legitimate and for the company's benefits), and also represent their opinions or concerns. Great partners do this even when they do not agree with their peers POV. When represent your peer in a positive light, you communicate that respect and care for peers is a key organisational value.

 If you can't say anything nice, just keep quite!

Don't you ever bad mouth peers in front of others.  Trust me, it never pays to talk badly about peers, because it will burns bridges that you may need later on.  Speak respectfully about others, even if you think ill of them.  Remember, people who talk about others behind their back end up looking bad themselves.  It is immature, unprofessional, and destructive to bad mouth peers. The best way to deal with difference of opinion or disagreement is to directly communicate it.... in a productive way... and to the person involved.

Take ownership of problems and challenges

Don't pass the buck!  This situation can put a damper on a partnership faster than being hung out to dry by the peer.  Collaborative peers own problems and concerns and do not shift the blame onto other peers.  If you have a complaint on how someone is handling a situation, discuss with that person directly before taking it to the next level of management or his boss. Otherwise, you could burn bridges not only with your peer, but the upper level as well. When communicating, please present a fair and balance view of the problem, including the part of it that you own.

Share credit please!

Success comes from collaboration of all players and they should SHARE the credit.  Yes, while it may be true that one person's idea was the catalyst for the breakthrough, the overall success was a product of joint effort.  By ensuring everyone feels a part of success, it will give positive momentum into the next project or initiative.

Know the needs and concerns of peers, managers, customers

It is easier to be good partners when we understand the needs and motivations of those with whom we regularly work with.  Then we are in a position to anticipate needs, warn of emerging problems, and share ideas with peers if we know what is important to others. You should be able answer these questions: 

• What are their needs and goals? What is their purpose in the company?
• What are their interest and motivation?
• What are their strength and weaknesses, their unique skills and talents?
• What are their hot buttons and what frustrates them most? 
• How do they react to changes?
• Your expectation on them? Their expectation on you?

Be the great peer to them... because  "What goes around, comes around"!

Signed off for now

LOLA

Why is life so complicated?

Dear Diary,

Have you been asked that question by someone else? Have you ever asked it yourself a million times? 

When i was surfing the internet the other day, I came across this article.

Why is life so complicated?

Why does everything need to be so messy like why can't life be simple?

Why do people say things they don't really mean but still say them;

or if they mean them, why do they need to say it.

Is life only about money and sex?

Why do people need to change all the time and what if you like  someone better the way they before and they changed completely but change in a bad way, what would you do?

What if someone is leaving you and losing contact with you, what do you do?

What if someone you like doesn't notice you? What you do if when you look back you don't know where you are at anymore? You don't even know the last time you had a good time with your family and friends with no fights.

I know we always hope that our life can be simpler and easier than what we are facing right now.  For me it is all about yourself.  Tough luck! life is always complicated...  It never seems the way that we predict it to go, no matter how much we may plan, or hope that things may go a certain way, it just doesn't always happen according to our will.  

So, acceptance of this fact is vital in preparing for all of lives challenges presented to us on a daily basis.  Though life is such a blur and we can never possibly prepare for everything, it is still important to prepare as much as possible for what we can prepare for.  

Every day try to remember how precious you are, your time is.  Don't wait until it is too late.  Life is too short, and that just because you are alive doesn't mean that you are living life to the fullest.  Ultimately, stay on top of life, make your life, YOUR LIFE.  When life has gets complicated and you feel blurry, stand strong with a heart full of courage, embrace the struggle sot that you can overcome it with ease.  

Most importantly, live your life, run the show or else it will run over you!!!!!

Signed for now

LOLA

How to Survive Being a Single Mother

Dear Diary,

A single parent (aka solo parent) usually refers to a parent who has day-to-day responsibilities in the raising of the child(ren), which could be categorized as the primary caregiver.  We can become single parents through death of a spouse, divorce, abandonment or choice.  And I am one of the statistic, and by divorce and definitely by choice.

I have been spouse-less for about 15 years and with two grown-up kids.  Over the years, lots of people have been asking or busybodying on how I can survive of all these years with my sanity intact.  Here are the tips that I can share that might enlighten you:

Maintain a blameless mindset 

Make time for yourself to create and clarify your values.  Don't blame yourself and there is no point to blame others especially your ex.  Just remember, it's not worth it at all.

Remember you still have many other outlets of good, kind, loving people who are compassionate and supportive

Don't crawl under the bed.  It's not healthy for you and also the kids.  You still have family, friends, colleagues, etc that will always love you no matter what. Especially your kids.  They will be there for you sunshine or rain and will love you infinity and beyond.

Consider the skills that you already possess 

Are you a good reader? Are you a good communicator? Are you good in baking or sewing?  Just do whatever you are good at and enjoy every moment of it.

Make yourself valuable 

Change your appearance (to a betterment), take course i.e. Al-Quran recital or further your study.  Anything that can boost your confidence.

Boost your confidence to higher stage

Change your appearance (to a betterment), take course or further your study.  Anything that can boost your confidence. Or volunteer yourself to assist to local shelter, orphanage, masjid, etc.

Take responsibility

Be selective.  Don't think that constraint with limited choices or funds allow anyone to take advantage or force us into a decision.  As long as we have love for our child, our morals are intact and we behave legally responsible manner, all should work out for the best. 

Leave if you are in a bad neighbourhood or an unhealthy relationship

Your safety and the safety of your children are numero uno priority. Most of all, love yourself and your children before loving others.  Leave them if they are not worth it!

Believe in yourself

Whatever you do, if you do for the betterment of you and your children, you can succeed. 

Establish a support system that you are comfortable with

Make sure to have only people are sound mind and can make healthy decisions care for your child in your absence i.e. your sisters, mum or trusted friends.

Ignore people who are critical of you

Critical people is like a wet blanket. Before you know it, your mood switched, from a happy state to one of annoyance and irritation.  They can be a real downers, like energy vampires.  No matter what you say, they always find some way to derail the mood of the conversation.  They never give compliment or encouragement.  And most of all they don't care about you!

Parental skills are learned

If we were parented well, all the better. If we think we want to leave some things behind or improve upon them, do so.  Whatever it is, accept parental responsibility. You are the creator of your children mold.  Also, there is no harm learning or listening from children.

12

You are the architect

Remember that every day is created anew, and it is up to you how to architect the present and future. 

Have dignity

Whatever you do, whenever you go, wherever you go, do with a clean conscience.

Fight loneliness

Fill you free time with something good such as paint, draw, read, sing, mend something or better still PRAY!!!

Back to the ONE

No! I never forget about this.  I just keep the best for last.  If you feel all alone just remember Allah swt.  Don't ever forget that HE's always care and always there for you.  HE's listening and ready to answer for all your prayers.  If you sad and feel like your life is crumbling down, just call out his name.  If you feel sad, recite Al-Quran, bow down in prayer.  Remember that HE's the most gracious and the most merciful, because HE still helps us even when we forget about HIM. 

Signed off for now

LOLA