Friday, November 30, 2012

Silent love

Dear Diary,

It is hard to love someone in silent.  It is hard to keep that love to yourself knowing that it want to be set free, to be let go and to share.  

I had it once when I was in college.  I was so in love with this guy, however  I have no choice but to keep this feeling to myself.  He was my one year my senior and I fell in love with him on the first sight.  But every time I see him I know that he has a soft spot here in my heart. I feel a certain affection towards him but it's so hard to keep this feeling to myself.  It was so hard loving him in silent.  It was so hard to be just his friend. 

I had almost told him of my feeling, but come to think of it, I would rather love him like a mute and be his friend rather than to tell him that I love him and face the consequences that he might go away from me. 

Now after more than 20 years occasionally I would think of him.  Not that I am still in love with him anymore.  It just sometimes I wonder what would happen if I have the strength or courage and told him the truth. What if?




Silent is hard, but bitter regret is the harder..................................


Signed off for now
LOLA

TGIF everyone... and happy weekend

Dear Diary,

A bus station is where a bus stops....
A train station is where a train stop....
On my desk, I have a workstation....
and today is when it stops!





Gosh! I am seriously having a very very very lazy day today.  The funniest things keep happening to me on Fridays.  I misplace my energy when the sun comes up and always seem to find it back when the sun goes down.  




So my friends,
Whatever your plans are, I am wishing you all the fun and excitement and make this weekend ridiculously amazing!



Signed off for now
LOLA




 

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Don't Badmouth... It's stink!

Dear Diary,

When we are in a relationship, we tend to see things in positive perspective.  We always see his or her strengths or goodness and turn blind to your partner's weaknesses or flaws.  When we were in love things were better than they are.  

However, when things don't end on a happy note, what's left is dejection, hurt, resentment, hatred and heartbreak.  It is advisable to handle the situation with more dignity.  But then again, it is easier said than done because when emotions are involved, logic always take a backseat.  

Why people start badmouth their ex? 

  • Is it for self defense? In most cases, badmouthing an ex is a self-defense mechanism.
  • To point fingers or to play the blaming game? We tend to have a habit of pointing fingers to everyone else except ourselves.
  • To elevate self-worth? Maybe by putting someone down makes them feel better.  So, by doing that it might increase their self-worth in their own eyes and in the eyes of everyone else. 
  • To gain sympathy for others? Making themselves the martyr is a way to get support and sympathy from people around them. 
But in a reality, when you badmouth your ex, it doesn't reflect on him or her, it reflects on you.  Is that what you wanted to say? When you trash your ex on your date, he or she will wonder if you aren't over your ex.  They will start wondering why you put up with someone that so stupid or mean or abusive.  They will wonder if you will say the same about them.

I didn't say that you have to lie or say nice things about your ex if there is aren't good things to say.  It means you need to deal with the past, and the focus on reporting the facts rather than being mean.  Be careful with the words you choose.  

From time to time we all let one slip on an ex we dislike.  But it should be the exception, not the rule.  You can't play the game of love and not get hurt from time to time. 

Grieve.... learn from it... and finally move on..........

Anyhoo, what is the meanest thing you have ever heard a date say about an ex? 


Signed off for now
LOLA



Make up after a fight...

Dear Diary,

Last night we had a fight.  The funny thing is both can't remember what we were really  fighting about but we glad that we managed to made up before it became worse.  

I believe most couples have fights once in a while.  Sometimes I believe to have a fight with your partner make you more understanding with each other needs and worries as long as you know how to fight and make up in an open and healthy way.  

In order to ensure that the relationship succeed, both partners should have the ability to 'make up' after a fight, in an adult way rather that leave it to the inner selves. 

#1  Don't run out or go silent - Distancing is just a sign that one or both of you are not ready or don't want to make up yet.  However, you can use the 'time out' approach.  It just for a short time with a firm understanding that both of you will get together at the end of that period and resolve the issue. Remind him that your love is stronger than your pain.  

#2  Look beneath the argument - Identifying the root feeling can help you calm down and make up with your partner.  Maybe it is due inadequacy, fear of abandonment or feeling taken for granted.

#3  Good communication - Get to the core issue and helps him to understand your feeling without arguing about it. Talk in calm voice and listen to each other so both of you can ensure that the fight will not happen again.  Identify the ‘making up’ process clearly and verbally, by telling each other what you are feeling and what you want to happen between you that will feel like "making up". Don’t allow things to develop in an unspoken way by giving a kiss or a hug without saying ‘I’m ready to make up’ or something like that.  And don't you ever hold grudges with each other.

#4  Be responsible - If you can find a way to won to your part in the argument without trying to blame or wrong each other for it, it may open up a whole new dialogue. Accept your share of the responsibility for what happened.

#5  Be humble - Sometimes if you can apologize for something you did, it can disarm your partner and result in him apologizing as well.  Always remember, don't apologize for things you didn't do just so the fight will be over.  Be sincere, please.

#6  Let go of being right - Wanting to win an argument is the surest way to keep it going.  It's a sure no win situation and keeps you from truly connecting with your partner.  Would you rather be right or be happy?  

#7  Let your partner learn in his way - You can only control yourself and your own pace of learning.  Don't force him to see what the issue your way.  There is information in any argument for both of you, but it is not possible to make someone see things from your POV. Either he does, or does not.
  • If you are holding out for an apology, and he isn't giving it, consider openly forgiving him anyway.  This kind of acceptance, if you don' t do it in a condescending way, might show that you accept his imperfection, which can help him be less defensive.  
#8  Appreciate your partner - Action that create positive feelings will help to sustain your relationship.  However, if you are still feeling down about the whole thing, start with yourself.  

#9  Set boundaries - If your argument has been a nasty one before, you may want to make an agreement with him about the boundaries and terms of your relationship.  Don’t score points or try to win by arguing from a rational position. Making up is about fixing what went wrong, not beating the other person.

#10  Learn from argument - If you keep repeating the same arguments, it is because in some ways you keep these issue going without realizing it. What can you learn from these issues?  Be realistic about the issue or fact you are fighting about.  

Remember, MAKE UP don't BREAK UP!

Signed off for now
LOLA

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Are you dating a psycho?.... or Are you a psycho?

Dear Diary,

Here are the signs that the guy you are dating is a psycho:

#1  Extremely jealous - He will go to any length to force unreasonable faithfulness on you with a reason fear of losing you.  No matter how you tried to convince him, he will feel threatened with anything or anyone that comes near you.

#2  Control freak - He thinks that he knows what is best for you and deciding what you should or shouldn't. He will use a great deal of coercion and intimidation to force you into agreeing with him.

#3  Paranoid assumption - If any guy calls you (even if it is your boss, your colleague or maybe a relative) he loses it and goes into interrogation mode. Even if you were just slightly late getting home, he will go beserk.  He even gets angry every time you come near to another guy.

#4  Threaten to hurt or kill himself or you - When he is on the fact that you aren't happy with the relationship and thinking for a way out, he will take drastic action that will keep you around such as threats of bodily harm, to him or to you.  

#5  Get physical when arguing - He thinks it is perfectly fine to slap, kick, force or even use weapons against you when you say or do something they he dislike.  

#6  Stalking - He will do things like call or follow you when you are outside.  He might check your emails or mobile phone or even your wallet looking for so-called proof.  

#7  Emotionally unstable - His emotions keep fluctuate, like night and day and you can't tell the difference between the two.  He will often exhibit temper tantrums like getting loud or rude or sarcastic when having disagreement or argument.  He will make you feel like you are walking on eggshells or can't communicate with him without suffering his wrath every single time.

#8 Attention seeker - He cannot spend a single moment without talking to you.  He will furious or go crazy if you didn't pick up the calls or reply his message on time.  

Ultimately, this type of psycho has low level of self-esteem and self-confidence and consistently feels insecure.  His behaviour is so annoying and sometimes it can be so exhausting. These signs in time, can be unsafe for him as well as you. Hence, it is advisable to cut ties as soon as possible...


Signedoff for now
LOLA


To stalk or to be stalked....

Dear Diary,

When I was young (I'm still am, but not too young anymore), I was followed by a stalker while I was on the way to office.  Although I have had similar incidents numerous times, I just couldn't help feeling real scared all over again. He was staring at me and trying to keep up with my hurried pace.  Soon, I felt a tug on my arm and when I turned around, I found myself looking into a leering face of a short, old guy.  I was so scared and run away as fast as I could.  By the time I reached the office, I was badly shaken and traumatized.  

After confiding with colleagues about the incident and surfing on internet, I manage to get some some advice and guidance on how to tackle this 'stalker' issue.  This is what I got: 

  • Ignore him completely, he will get bored and walk off.
  • Carry pepper spray or chilli powder.  Use it when necessary.
  • Don't try to lose the stalker by going down empty path, you will get in even more trouble.
  • Make friends or walk alongside other ladies, even if you don't know them. Make sure there are other people around you.
  • Tell people around you about his potential intention. You will be safer if a group of people know.
  • Say your prayers. It works to turn luck in your favor.  Insya'allah you will be helped by the most unlikely of strangers or maybe the stalker will get distracted by something and leave.
  • Shout so that everybody looks, but do not use any foul language.  Just tell the stalker in a very loud voice to stop following you and go away.
  • Make a crying face or act helpless to the crowd, so the other guys will be a knight in shining armour and come to your defense.
  • Otherwise keep a straight face, don't look scared or make silly expression.
Good luck!

Signed off for now
LOLA


   

Bounce back!!!!

Dear Diary,

I'm feeling ecstatic this morning.  If not due to my promise not to reveal my true identity in the cyber world particularly in this blog, I will definitely posted my appearance today.... I'm so red!  

I must say that I was a bit down yesterday when heard the news from my friends.  At first I was so stunned that it happened so quick.  I felt like being hit by a train... a bullet train..... But me being me... I bounced back fast...like a bullet train.

What topic I want to share with you today? How about how to bounce back? Well it doesn't matter bounce back from a failure, or maybe from a breakup.

I could not claim that I have really bounced back from my failure but I surely know that I have learnt some valuable lesson.  So, it is crucial to find a good ways to bounce back.  In other words, the past mistakes MUST NOT be repeated.  I want to share with you some of the tips:

Bounce back from a failure

#1  Slow and steady: Whatever you do, please don't be in a hurry unless you are in such desperate condition that if you cannot bounce back on time then you will be in jeopardy.  Because when you in a hurry, it is either you make more mistakes or you become frustrated when you don't see good result at a short time.

#2  Do you homework properly: No one dreams to be a loser in life.  Do your homework and try to analyze your mistakes.  Don't deceive yourself about it.  If you do so, then you will again end up in failing.  However, if you can learn from your mistakes, then there is chances that you can bounce back to success in life.

#3  Health is wealth: When we are young, we think that we will always be strong and healthy.  However, it slowly gets destroyed over the years. Hence getting back on your feet takes a lot of time and real determination.  Whatever plan you have in mind, in order to execute it, you need good health.  Take care of yourself as much as possible.

#4  Don't bother about others:  Most people love to give advice whether you asked it or not because they think it is their holy duty to give all kind of advice to you.  Also, certain people would enjoy you bad condition and would try to offend you emotionally.  While you cannot control others, you definitely get try to control yourself about not getting emotionally hurt.  When you can isolate yourself from other people, it becomes easier for you to focus on rebuilding your life again. 

#5  Be patient: You have to be patient and if you are not then you cannot hope to bounce back.  

Bounce back from a breakup

#1  Get a make over: There is nothing that can boost your confidence than a make over.  Get a new haircut, change dressing style, get a beauty treatment, go to a spa.  Trust me, pampering yourself can do wonders to your mind and body.

#2  Go shopping: There is nothing better than retail therapy. I have seen this technique working well especially when we are angry or depressed. 

#3   Find a hobby: Now it is the right time to pursue any hobbies that you have previously ignored due to lack or time or discouragement from your ex.  You can also learn new things and be self sufficient.  

#4  Bond with family and friends: They stands by you during thick and thin.  So if you have not been giving enough time and attention to them previously, it is time for you to spend more quality time with them and doing things you missed doing with them.

#5  Get a Pet:  If you like pets, get one and devote yourself looking after it. 

#6  Have fun: Be Single and Happy.  Go for coffee or dinner with friends.  Watch movies with family.  Go dancing with friends.  Do whatever you like and have fun! This would sure boost your confidence. 

#7  Go for a trip: Take a break and go for holiday.  

#8  Be healthy: Have a healthy and fit body and mind by getting into yoga, aerobic or even go for a walk because it would help to relax you and help you heal the wounds of your heart break. 

#9  Do charity and social work: Doing something positive for someone always can make one feel good.  It can make us realize how lucky and privileged we are.  While you are clearing the clutter of your previous relationship, why don't you give away things like mementos or clothes that reminded you of him.  

#10  Do something productive:  It is time to change yourself and devote some time to your career.  
   
Failure or breakups do happen.  It is the way you handle it makes all the difference.  The emotional trauma caused by it is almost always debilitating.  However, you need to move on to make room for good things to come to you.  Bounce!!!!!!

Signed off for now
LOLA

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I'm sorry... you are just a rebound...

Dear Diary,

Have you been the dreaded rebound guy? The first poor guy who strikes her interest after she recently ended a long-term relationship.  Some of us have been into that situation and I believe that it was suck.  A bit of advice to my male friends, be very cautious when having relationship with freshly broken up woman. If you are not looking for a serious relationship then you have nothing to worry.  Because she is actually trick herself (well it's not really her faulty thoroughly) into thinking she is falling in love again and has forgotten all about the last guy.

Why did she fall for you at the first place?  It is easy.  Because you were there for her when she most need someone.  You helped her gain her self-esteem back.  You were always there for her, make her laugh and forget her problems.  But what happens when she gets over her broken heart and ready to take over the world or try the water out, or worse still, decides it's time to give her ex another chance because when it comes down to it, she never really got over him.

Then, you just realised that you were just the rebound guy.  Don't be too hard on yourself or her (it was destined to occur).  What is worse than being that guy? Knowing it was bound to happen (gut feeling) but still trying to make it work.

So realise this, unless you want to play basketball that you don't ever want to be the "rebound guy". 

Signed off for now
LOLA

How to Stop Loving Someone... How to Let him go...

Dear Diary,

It's hard to let go someone that you love with all your heart.  It definitely difficult to stop loving him, especially when you have been together for so long and you always believe he is your soulmate.  

But even though it is extremely hard, it is possible and the best way to deal with it are:

1.  Don't email, IM, call, SMS, or even say hi because it will open wounds that you are trying to close.  Don't even answer calls from him either.

2.  Tell him that it is over just to be sure so he doesn't still ponder on the idea and make a stupid decision to try to undo everything you have done.  If he broke up with you, then leave it.  Give him time he needs for himself and maybe you can be platonic friends in the future (but I  don't really suggest it).  Remember, relationship happen for a reason.  If you need to, just try and drift away.  It may be best for the both of you.  Even if your ex wants to be friends, it is really hard because it will bring up all those old memories of being together.  The easier way is to cut all ties if possible.

3.  Realise that you were not meant for each other, so the sooner you give up on him, you can find the guy who is. 

4.  Get rid of all memories of him no matter how hard it seems.  

5.  Know you can do it.  Once started, just keep on going.

6.  Don't close the book, just turn the page.  You have many potential soulmates and reminiscing about the past only means you are not happy with your own life, not because you are without a partner.

7.  Keep away from all the stuff or place that will remind you of him.

8. Stop mentioning his name.

9.  Organise as many things as possible in your diary.  The more you busy, the less time you will have to dwell on the past.  Make a list of all the things you have always wanted to do and do them. 

10.  If you still feel upset about the past relationship, try talking to someone you close to help along the process of getting over him.  

11. Try to meditate to clear your mind of what he looks like.

12.  Maybe it is about time for you to try to find a new suitor. However, don't go on the rebound and get with the first person you find.  You won't be happy and you will be comparing your new rebound partner to your last because you didn't have enough time to get over them and start afresh.

13. Do things or play sports/games that get your mind off of that person.  It might help a lot.

14. Sometimes you want to cry.  You may want him back but don't give in!  It will erase all of the progress you have made.  


15. Trust me, it is not easy as 123 to get over someone especially if it was real love but, if you can appreciate being alone, you will find a real long-term partner when you are not looking. 


16. Don't try to find out information about what he is up to or whether he has a new partner, etc.  It will make you look desperate and it will more than likely be reported back to your ex. And it will make it worse he has already move on and got a new girlfriend.  


17. Don't be to egotistical.  Accept his apologies but remember the pain that it caused.  It will keep you in a better position to think over the situation. 



Just remember, you don't need anyone else in you life to make you happy and spend some time with yourself will help you to appreciate yourself.


Signed off for now
LOLA

Giving up to be Happy.....

Dear Diary,

Don't freak out!  I'm not asking you to give up on someone.  It's just a list of things that if you give  up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much happier.  Ready? Here we go!

  1. Give up your need to always be right.
  2. Give up your need for control.
  3. Give up on blame.
  4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk - Remember the mind is a superb instrument if used rightly.  Used wrongly, however it becomes very destructive.
  5. Give up your limiting belief - A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.
  6. Give up complaining.
  7. Give up the luxury of criticism
  8. Give up your need to impress others
  9. Give up your resistance to change - Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.
  10. Give up on label - The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.
  11. Give up on your fear - The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.
  12. Give up your excuses.
  13. Give up the past.
  14. Give up attachment.
  15. Give up living your life to other people's expectation.
credit: Luminita Saviuc

Can you do that, please?

Signed off for now
LOLA


  

Monday, November 26, 2012

Train or to be trained... that's the question

Dear Diary,

Starting from today onward, I will be attending a 2-day training course sent by my esteemed company.  I have been attended a few courses, seminars and workshop during my tenure in this company.  Some of them are beneficial to me or company, some of them are not.  

The main reason the company sending their employees for training programmes because it is proven that the  well train employee is more productive and efficient.  

However, there a few reasons why you should attend training programmes:

#1: It breaks the normal, everyday routine.

For some people this can be very stressful; however, for most, this will be a relief. My personality is such that if I do the same thing a few days in a row, then I am about to pull my hair out or do something exciting just for kicks or do it even slower because of procrastination, etc.

#2: It gives me a fresh perspective.

Because it breaks the normal, everyday routine, it changes my perspective. It allows me to immerse myself in something else (even if it is what I do every day). There is a change of people, place, and pace of normal everyday life.

#3: It is personal (and/or leadership) development and education.

Whether this is development in soft skills or technical skills or competencies, conferences provide a phenomenal way to invest in myself. Furthermore, most conferences do focus on the new, next big thing, the cutting edge, or any other new ideas available.

#4: It helps develop my personal network.

More and more I realize the importance of a professional, personal network outside of my company. This does a lot of things. First, it gives you insight to the customer (whether internal or external). Second, it provides you an avenue to explore and discuss ideas. Third, it also gives you a “backup plan”  (i.e., a way of finding a new job if necessary?).

#5: It’s fun!

What’s better than a “paid working vacation” where I go somewhere for the sole purpose of attending a conference. Yes, some conferences are not as exciting as others; however, everything is what we make of it. So there’s tweeting at a conference, tweetups, “free” lunches, etc.

#6: It is inspirational.

Most conferences I’ve been to have always inspired me to do at least one new thing, or it has re-ignited my passion for something that I am already doing, whether it is something that I have slowed down or stopped working, or gotten bummed about, etc. Regardless, general sessions, breakout sessions, workshops, and seminars all can prove to be rather inspiring. For me, the breakout and smaller sessions are much more valuable than the general sessions.

#7: It is exciting to see and meet certain people, like speakers, bloggers, etc.

In this digital age, I know a variety of people through writing whether it is blogging, tweeting, or whatever. However, there is a missing component to each of these people. It’s the way the sound, the way they talk, the way they hold themselves, the way they interact, etc. While I am not the best at reading people, I know a few people that read people like books in 5 minutes. For example, the other day I was talking with someone (who is really excellent at reading people) about a blog/blogger, and they said something interesting to me, “I’ve read XYZ Blog for a while now [she went on to tell me about her favorite parts of the blog], and so I had an idea about who [he/she] was, how [he/she] acted, and what [he/she] sounded like. However, I recently saw a video of [him/her], and I did not picture [him/her] that way! But now that I’ve seen him/her, his/her blog makes a lot of sense to me.” So going to a conference, we get a more real picture of the people we interact with electronically.
(credit to Travis Smith)

So, please sure that you select the reputable training organiser.... and Yes! Have fun!

Signed off for now
LOLA

Friday, November 23, 2012

I miss you...

Dear Diary,

Has it ever occur to you why exactly we miss someone? Is because we are truly love the person or is it just due to infatuation?

Since my other half's time is either preoccupied with workloads or need to spend time with his children, he rarely has time for me.  But I know he's trying his best to give the best for everybody.  Don't take me wrongly and accused me for not being supportive.  It's just whenever he's away from me, i miss him so much.  

But I'm trying not to be sad but instead cherish the golden moments that we have and it will surely bring a smile to my face.  Another thing, both of us have make a promise that we will keep our ego aside and always tell our feelings to each other.  Besides, life is too short; if you love or miss someone, do let them know.   

Love is missing someone whenever you are apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you are close in heart......
Signed off for now
LOLA




Please meet my new beau, Buzzy....

Dear Diary,

Sadly to inform you that my Flame has officially passed away.  My Flame aka my Torch BB handphone is beyond repair and already out of warranty.  Hence, I have no choice but to replace him with a new beau.

Hence, Everybody, I would like your to meet Buzzy the Nokia Lumia.  A bit pricey for me but hey, what the heck! It is about time I pampered myself once in a while.

FYI, my Buzzy is a guy apparently.  That's why his color is blue... the color was choosed by my honey bunny Mr. Buzz Lightyear aka BLY.  

As much as I wish my relationship with Mr. BLY to last forever and ever, I also want my friendship with Buzzy to last forever too....  or at least much much longer than my belated Flame.   

Mr BLY and and Buzzy, I love you muchooooo....

Signed off for now
LOLA

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Funny notes from a dear friend

Dear Diary,

Enjoice!!

  • If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and enjoy life!
  • Expecting the world to treat you fairly coz you are good person, is like expecting the lion not to attack you coz you are a vegetarian.. Think about it...
  • Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside.  So, try going out naked and see the admiration!
  • Don't walk as if you rule the world! Walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
  • Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will NEVER find a wife as good as his father did!!!.
  • So many options for suicide: poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, BUT we chose marriage, slow but sure!
  • All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or MARRIED to someone else!
Thanks, Zien...

Signed off for now
LOLA

Psssssttt... do you wanna know a secret?


Dear Diary,

Do you dream a workplace where:

  • Gossip, bickering and negativity become a thing of the past.
  • Blame, criticism and judging others is no longer the norm.
  • Blamestorming to be replaced with Brainstorming.
  • People work together, devoting their energies towards cooperation and productivity.
  • The organisational culture is dedicated to harmony and personal responsibility.

Remember,
"Who gossips to you will gossip of you"

Signed off for now
LOLA

Feeling blue... when we are apart


Dear Diary,


When I am down and out and feeling blue,
I close my eyes and think of you

With your smiling face and sparkling eyes,
Your caring nature and thoughtful disguise

It is easy to see why you are special to me,
No demanding nature to cope with, you see

We share time together and get along fine,
I am so pleased to know that you are still mine

Through thick and thin, good times and bad
Rarely we do argue, so seldom I am sad

So when I am down and feeling blue,
I just close my eyes and think of you

I just can wait to see you again,
Because when we are apart, I feel the pain.................


Signed off for now
LOLA

Down with fever

Dear Diary,

Poor me! I'm feeling under the weather since yesterday.  Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I believe taking care of your other half when they are sick is a REQUIREMENT for being in a relationship.  So, I was so cranky and requested him to take care of me and spoiled me with anything that I desired.  

This is not the first time he took care of me.  At one time I was so sick he practically had to hold my hair back when I puked.  He made sure that I rest in comfortable and quite place, enough clear fluid, took all medicine as directed, fed me with nutritious meals, blanketed me when I was cold, make sure I had sufficient ventilation for clean air, kept tissue handy, made sure my personal cleanliness is taken care of,  etc.  He had nurse me until I got back on my feet.  In addition he had taken a few days leave just to nurse me.  He is sweet, isn't he?

He is always there for me, in time of sickness and in time of health, always cherish and respect me, always care and protect me and finally always comfort and encourage me. 

I feel blessed to love and be loved by him.



Signed off for now
LOLA  


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Perfect 10

Dear Diary,

Last night you asked me
Why did choose you?
What make me feel in love with you?

The answer is so simple,
Because you are a PERFECT 10 to me....

Now I want to know, am I the perfect 10 for you?

Signed off for now
LOLA


I Love You too....


Dear Diary,

The day you told me that you love me,
It sank so deep, I was drowning in thought....
I lost for word  as I gaze into your eyes,
The tears that flowed down your cheek.....
That very moment soaked my heart making it heavy
I knew it wasn't mine alone to keep.....

The way you held my hands so drove the words down my spine,
a touch that conveyed so much yet so soft.....
I feel happy inside but scared of your sincerity.
Will those words of yours pass the test of time?
Was it for real or just pass like a dream?
With so much questions inside my head,
yet just you staring at me from the outside....
I took a deep breath and a step closer,
with a kiss I said the same words back to you,
BLY, I love you too......


Signed off for now
LOLA

Love note to him

Dear Diary,

When it rains, you don't see the sun, but it is there.  Hope we can be like that.  We may not be seeing each other too often, but please remember that we will always be there for one another, in each other's heart.

You are everything to me.  Someone that I can count on, someone that I can believe in, someone that I love with all my heart.

Give laugh to all...... but smile to one.....
Cheek to all..... but lips to one......
Care to all..... but heart to one.....
Let everybody love you..... but you love only one......

Signed off for now
LOLA

I found you.......


Dear Diary,

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, 
who calls you back when you hang up on him, 
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, 
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... 

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, 
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, 
who holds your hand in front of his friends, 
who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. 

One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... 
The one who turns to his friends and says, that's HER...

BLY, I'm glad to say that I've found YOU....


Signed off for now
LOLA

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend...




Dear Diary,

I used to think that falling in love with your best friend was only something happened on TV show or the movie. Does it really happen in real life? Yes! Yes they do!

We used to go to the same school for a couple of years but didn't really talked to each other.  After more than 20 years, we bumped into each other again through facebook.  He is the first one who made the first move and say hi to me.  After cancelling dates a few times, we finally met up for dinner in a restaurant on the lake.  At first I was a bit intimidated with his blunt personality but at the same time it amazed me.  And now, after three years we are still together and going strong. 


I have good connection with my sisters and girl friends, it still cannot compare to the my friendship with my partner - the love of my life.  He has been my supporter, my rock, my best friend and my lover.   I don't know which side of him that I enjoy the most.  I treasure each side, just I have treasured my life with him together.

Honestly, it never really hit me that we were the best friends until one day several years ago we were talking but I can't remember the details of the conversation.  All I recall is that he said something funny that had us rolling hysterical with laughter.  I can distinctly remember feeling  at that moment our interaction felt more like a friendship and not a love-partner moment.  I'm happy to admit that those moment are share quite frequently in our relationship.  So yes, my lover is my best friend.  


  

So, I'm happy to say that I'm in love with my best friend..... and I know he feels the same too....

Signed off for now
LOLA



Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Cheating partner... the signs and how to catch him...

Dear Diary,

There is nothing as painful as discovering someone you love has been cheating on you, but almost as bad as not knowing for sure if your suspicion is founded. 

There are list of danger signs to look out for that show that your partner is being unfaithful (or not, as the case may be):

  1. He suddenly loses interest in kissing you.  Strangely enough, man that unfaithful or bored will continue having sex far longer than they will in kissing.  So, this is one of the first signs they are going off you.
  2. He stop wanting to make love with you (or just have a quicky instead).
  3. He start working late at nights.  He also starts leaving for work earlier than usual.
  4. He seldom wants to take you to work functions (possibly he is taking someone else instead).
  5. He starts leave the room every time the handphone rings anand takes the call elsewhere. He keeps the handphone with him all the time.
  6. Somebody on the other line hangs up the call as soon as they hear your voice, and the name and number is withheld.
  7. He starts spend his free time claiming he is out with friends, yet you are not invited.
  8. He receives text messages on their handphone during odd hours, and always quickly deletes after reading them and often claims they are only a friend. There is potentially his handphone bill has risen dramatically.
  9. He suddenly has to go away for business trip, often at short notice and you are not allowed to accompany him.
  10. He start taking a great deal more care about his appearance out of the blue, begin to wear perfume/ aftershave daily when they rarely bothered before.
  11. He regularly comes home after work not hungry, as it may be he has eaten outside.
  12. The mileage on his car or the petrol consumption has risen significantly for no explicable reason.

  
Now, you know the danger signs.  So, how to catch them out? There are a few tips that you can try out:

  1. Whenever you have chance i.e. he is in the toilet or having shower, check the content of his wallet, pocket, etc.  Look out for receipts or generally things you would not expect them to buy normally.
  2. Go through his handphone and check for dialled and received calls. Look for recurring numbers. However, it's quite difficult if he put password on the handphone.
  3. Check for text messages that have not been deleted yet.  
  4. If he says he has to work late, do some spot check either via calls at his office or surprise him at workplace.
  5. If he going out with friends, ask who and where.  Maybe you can confirm with his friends or maybe check if he is where he say he is and with whom.
  6. If he claims to be going on a business trip out of state or town, get details on his trip i.e hotel, meeting companion and so on. And do some check out.  Calls him at night via the hotel number.
  7. Make a note of his car mileage.  Any oddity without any explainable reason, he has no doubt been somewhere else too.
  8. If he start to leave for work early than usual on a regular basis, try call his workplace around the time he should have arrived.
  9. If you can access his emails or better still can guess his FB password, this is a great way of catching him out. Quite often he may well forget to delete certain email, or complacent enough to leave it there, or may not have emptied his deleted items folder yet.
  10. If you get to know to who he is committing infidelity with, try to find out information on her.  Then, check if his partner's vehicle is in the driveway or parked in a nearby.
  11. If you have budget, invest in a basic phone-bug, or very small cameras.
  12. Check out his car really thoroughly, look for unfamiliar hairs or proof.

Whatever it is, all I can say "GOOD LUCK"!!

Signed off for now
LOLA