I'm sorry... you are just a rebound...

Dear Diary,

Have you been the dreaded rebound guy? The first poor guy who strikes her interest after she recently ended a long-term relationship.  Some of us have been into that situation and I believe that it was suck.  A bit of advice to my male friends, be very cautious when having relationship with freshly broken up woman. If you are not looking for a serious relationship then you have nothing to worry.  Because she is actually trick herself (well it's not really her faulty thoroughly) into thinking she is falling in love again and has forgotten all about the last guy.

Why did she fall for you at the first place?  It is easy.  Because you were there for her when she most need someone.  You helped her gain her self-esteem back.  You were always there for her, make her laugh and forget her problems.  But what happens when she gets over her broken heart and ready to take over the world or try the water out, or worse still, decides it's time to give her ex another chance because when it comes down to it, she never really got over him.

Then, you just realised that you were just the rebound guy.  Don't be too hard on yourself or her (it was destined to occur).  What is worse than being that guy? Knowing it was bound to happen (gut feeling) but still trying to make it work.

So realise this, unless you want to play basketball that you don't ever want to be the "rebound guy". 

Signed off for now

LOLA

How to Stop Loving Someone... How to Let him go...

Dear Diary,

It's hard to let go someone that you love with all your heart.  It definitely difficult to stop loving him, especially when you have been together for so long and you always believe he is your soulmate.  

But even though it is extremely hard, it is possible and the best way to deal with it are:

1.  Don't email, IM, call, SMS, or even say hi because it will open wounds that you are trying to close.  Don't even answer calls from him either.

2.  Tell him that it is over just to be sure so he doesn't still ponder on the idea and make a stupid decision to try to undo everything you have done.  If he broke up with you, then leave it.  Give him time he needs for himself and maybe you can be platonic friends in the future (but I  don't really suggest it).  Remember, relationship happen for a reason.  If you need to, just try and drift away.  It may be best for the both of you.  Even if your ex wants to be friends, it is really hard because it will bring up all those old memories of being together.  The easier way is to cut all ties if possible.

3.  Realise that you were not meant for each other, so the sooner you give up on him, you can find the guy who is. 

4.  Get rid of all memories of him no matter how hard it seems.  

5.  Know you can do it.  Once started, just keep on going.

6.  Don't close the book, just turn the page.  You have many potential soulmates and reminiscing about the past only means you are not happy with your own life, not because you are without a partner.

7.  Keep away from all the stuff or place that will remind you of him.

8. Stop mentioning his name.

9.  Organise as many things as possible in your diary.  The more you busy, the less time you will have to dwell on the past.  Make a list of all the things you have always wanted to do and do them. 

10.  If you still feel upset about the past relationship, try talking to someone you close to help along the process of getting over him.  

11. Try to meditate to clear your mind of what he looks like.

12.  Maybe it is about time for you to try to find a new suitor. However, don't go on the rebound and get with the first person you find.  You won't be happy and you will be comparing your new rebound partner to your last because you didn't have enough time to get over them and start afresh.

13. Do things or play sports/games that get your mind off of that person.  It might help a lot.

14. Sometimes you want to cry.  You may want him back but don't give in!  It will erase all of the progress you have made.  


15. Trust me, it is not easy as 123 to get over someone especially if it was real love but, if you can appreciate being alone, you will find a real long-term partner when you are not looking. 


16. Don't try to find out information about what he is up to or whether he has a new partner, etc.  It will make you look desperate and it will more than likely be reported back to your ex. And it will make it worse he has already move on and got a new girlfriend.  


17. Don't be to egotistical.  Accept his apologies but remember the pain that it caused.  It will keep you in a better position to think over the situation. 

Just remember, you don't need anyone else in you life to make you happy and spend some time with yourself will help you to appreciate yourself.

Signed off for now
LOLA

Giving up to be Happy.....

Dear Diary,

Don't freak out!  I'm not asking you to give up on someone.  It's just a list of things that if you give  up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much happier.  Ready? Here we go!

1. Give up your need to always be right.
2. Give up your need for control.
3. Give up on blame.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk - Remember the mind is a superb instrument if used rightly.  Used wrongly, however it becomes very destructive.
5. Give up your limiting belief - A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.
6. Give up complaining.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism
8. Give up your need to impress others
9. Give up your resistance to change - Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.
10. Give up on label - The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.
11. Give up on your fear - The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.
12. Give up your excuses.
13. Give up the past.
14. Give up attachment.
15. Give up living your life to other people's expectation.

credit: Luminita Saviuc

Can you do that, please?

Signed off for now
LOLA