She ain't heavy, she is my mum

Dear Diary,

Being a daddy's girl doesn't mean I don't love my mum or have bad relationship with her.    It just, how to say it, the relationship with mum and daughter share one of life's most complicated connection.  It is no big news that every mother is a daughter who is now experiencing this conflicts from the other side. But hey! don't get me wrong, I love my mum as much as I love my dad.

Literally I owed her my life.  but sometimes I feel like my relationship with my mum share nothing in common.    She definitely knows me better than anyone else, yet so much of the time I just can't see how that works to my advantage.  

My mum has been right beside me for every stage of my life.  From infancy to adolescence stage, from newly wed to mother of two, from marriage to turmoil divorce and insya'allah to remarriage, she's always there to give me her motivation, morale support, guidance and advice.   I know she loves me and wants the best for me but occasionally feel like being control by her.

Being a mother myself, now I begin to understand her clearly.  So now I started be more patient and trying to instill  better relationship with my mum.  She deserves it.  I deserve it.  Now,  I'm trying to walk in her shoe and treat my relationship with my mum the way I want in any relationship.  Compromise is the key word. 

The simple truth is that no one in your life will love you as unconditionally, as purely, as strongly as mothers. After all who you are now come from your relationship with mum and you behaviour with others will reflect those belief. 

I love you and will always love you forever and ever. I'm blessed to have you as my mum.

Signed off for now.

LOLA

Happy Friday!!!!!

Dear Diary,

Do you love or hate Fridays?

I used to dislike when Friday arrives bcozI couldn't see or talk to him over the weekends.  But the feeling has long gone since  now  I can hang out with him at any time, at any day whenever my heart desire.

Now I love Fridays! Among the reasons are:

• I have made it! I have survived the work week, be it a fruitful week or not.

• Me time! So I can focus on my personal life and have some quality time.  I can meet up with my friends, have breakfast or lunch or dinner or all meals with them.  I can go window shopping or shopping (if I haven't burn my pocket yet) with my dearest ones. Or I can even just wind down at home doing nothing.  It's my choice.  

• Get out of town.  Maybe escape my home for a quick weekend gateway.  Doesn't matter where or with who, as long it provides an outlet for a little escapism.

• Can stay up late and wake up really late the next day. Yipeee!!!!

So, I wish you all a happy, good and blessed Friday!

Signed off for now
LOLA

Happy birthday, soulmate

Dear Diary,

Everytime I think of him, "Love Story - Where do I begin" song will always play in my mind.  

Where do I begin? Where do I begin to describe how important you are to me? Where do I start to express my unconditional love for you? Where do I begin to show how I just couldn't live my life without you beside me?

Where do I begin?To tell the story of how great a love can beThe sweet love story that is older than the seaThe simple truth about the love he brings to meWhere do I start?
Where do I begin?To tell the story of how great a love can beThe sweet love story that is older than the seaThe simple truth about the love he brings to meWhere do I start?
Like a summer rainThat cools the pavement with a patent leather shineHe came into my life and made the living fineAnd gave a meaning to this empty world of mineHe fills my heart
He fills my heart with very special thingsWith angels' songs, with wild imaginingsHe fills my soul with so much loveThat anywhere I go, I'm never lonelyWith him along, who could be lonely?I reach for his hand, it's always there
How long does it last?Can love be measured by the hours in a day?I have no answers now but this much I can sayI'm going to need him 'til the stars all burn awayAnd he'll be there
He fills my heart with very special thingsWith angels' songs, with wild imaginingsHe fills my soul with so much loveThat anywhere I go, I'm never lonelyWith him along, who could be lonely?

I can give hundreds or maybe thousand reasons why I love you.  But the most important reasons are:

1. I love you because you inspire me.
2. I love you because you are my best friend.
3. I love you even when we can barely hear each other on bad phone line, you still find ways to make me smile.
4. I love you because you are very supportive with big life decisions that I would like to make.
5. I love you because you always love my cooking, even it's just maggi mee.
6. I love you because when you were far away from me, you always think of me and we will always make it through it.
7. I love you because you finish my plate for me when I'm totally full and let me steal bites of whatever you are having that I want of.
8. I love you because you know I love you.
9. I love you because we can always be ourselves around each other.
10. I love you because you, and ONLY you, will only fit  with me, ONLY me.
11. I love you because when we stand together, my body yields to you.
12. I love you because even if you deserve better and could easily have better, you still choose me.
13. I love you because we know you are the best kind of dad.
14. I love you because when you tell me I'm beautiful, I can tell you mean it. It somehow breaks away from my shy, self-conscious, disbelieving self and feels as though I can believe you.
15. I love you because by loving you helps me to love myself.
16. I love you because I love your laugh lines.
17. I love you because I'm your blanket and you are my pillow.
18. I love you because being with you, everything in my life becomes perfect.
19. I love you because you are what inspires me to crawl out of bed with a smile on my face every single morning.
20. I love you because you are my prince in shining armour and I am your queen.
21. I love because you make beautiful music turn to funny music.
22. I love you because you are capable in anything.
23. I love you because one breath without you, my lungs will forget to breathe entirely.
24. I love you because I know you would give your life,if I ask for it.
25. I love you because when I looked up, and there you were, and there I was, and here we are now, together as strong as ever.
26. I love you because you are my everything I never knew I needed.
27. I love you because you always pull me back to the ground, whenever I float aimlessly.
28. I love you because you are my star, my lucky star.
29. I love you because you are my other half.
30. I love you because everytime we meet, my love for you grows more and more with each passing moment.
31. I love you because we can have romantic "just us" even though just sitting on the couch eating home cooked meal.
32. I love you because even if all I had was you, it's more than enough.
33. I love you because you are more to me than you ever understand. You are my everything.
34. I love you because if you were to magically turned into seafood, I would still kiss you. Eventhough I have bad allergy with seafood. Sacrifices I made for love. 
35. I love you because you are with me now, I can shut my eyes knowing you are always be.
36. I love you because when I'm with you, sweet happiness feeling fills my soul.
37. I love you because no matter the road condition, no matter where it's going, I want to be with you.
38. I love you because I have waited for you to come into my life and stay forever.
39. I love you because from the moment I met you,  it felt like you are always been there.
40. I love you because you are the only one I miss.
41. I love you because there may be rainy days, storm may pass through, but I know you are always there by my side, holding an umbrella for me.
42. I love you because you make me feel loved, safe and secure.
43. I love you because you always remind me what most important in my life.
44. I love you because sometimes when I hate with everything bad happened to me, I stop myself and realised it can be that bad if you are part of my world.
45. I love you because everytime you texting me, makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
46. I love you because you still find me pretty without any make up on.
47.  I love you because you show me your softer side.
48. I love you because I think a part of me will always be waiting for you. I don't think I could ever fully let you go.
49. I love you because you satisfy me.
50. I love you because you are the only song in my playlist.
51. I love you because you protect me.  I love being clumsy around you.
52. I love you because we are perfectly compatible.  
53. I love you because loving you brings my love life even more each day.
54. I love you because you show me to right path in my life.
55. I love you because I can always hold you hand in the car.
56. I love you because I feel safe when you hold me, feels like nothing bad can ever touch me. You really hold me the right way.
57. I love you because I like the way you kissed.
58. I love you because you are one of a kind, something like rare species.
59. I love you because I adore you, you are crazy, funny, wonderful person in this planet.
60. I love you because I didn't realised what I am missing in my life until you arrived.
61. I love you because you can always make me smile.  Not only when I feel like smiling, but also when I feel sad or annoyed or angry.
62. I love you because I can always trust you.
63. I love you because you seldom tell me that you love me,but  you just showed it.
64. I love you because you always bring me up whenever I'm down.
65. I love you because you take me the way I am.  You never try to change me.
66. I love you because you always put up with my crankiness, pouty, weird, crazy tendencies, all of them.
67. I love you because you like spending a day just lazed at home with me.
68. I love you because you are willing to be with me  to see the doctor.
69. I love you because you always lend me your shoulder to cry on.
70. I love you because you think I smart, capable, clever and pretty.
71. I love you because I know you are smart, capable, far thinking, clever, nice looking, the list is endless.
72. I love you because you always make room for me in your daily life, regardless of how busy or crowded your schedule may be.
73. I love you because we have inside jokes and words that only we understand.
74. I love you because you always text or call me in the morning.
75. I love you because you are my hot tamale.
76. I love you because when I'm with you I feel the most important person in the universe.
77. I love you because you are always put up with me.
78. I love you because you love me back.
79. I love you because you gave me the second chance. and I gave you one too. Because we deserved each other.
80. I love you because you make my pain go away.
81. I love you because we can always sit comfortably together in complete silence.
82. I love you because you hold me close when we fall asleep together.
83. I love you because we make plan to that "special holy place' one day.
84. I love you because you listen to me rant about nonsense things.
85. I love you because your hands fits perfectly in mine.
86. I love you, just because.

Happy 40th  birthday my dearest and sweetest love,Not a day goes by when I do not think of you and how empty my life would be if you were not here.
Each year I will love you even more.  Remember that your best years are still ahead of you and I will always be there for every up, down and in between.
Signed off for now.LOLA