Don't Badmouth... It's stink!

Dear Diary,

When we are in a relationship, we tend to see things in positive perspective.  We always see his or her strengths or goodness and turn blind to your partner's weaknesses or flaws.  When we were in love things were better than they are.  

However, when things don't end on a happy note, what's left is dejection, hurt, resentment, hatred and heartbreak.  It is advisable to handle the situation with more dignity.  But then again, it is easier said than done because when emotions are involved, logic always take a backseat.  

Why people start badmouth their ex? 

• Is it for self defense? In most cases, badmouthing an ex is a self-defense mechanism.

• To point fingers or to play the blaming game? We tend to have a habit of pointing fingers to everyone else except ourselves.

• To elevate self-worth? Maybe by putting someone down makes them feel better.  So, by doing that it might increase their self-worth in their own eyes and in the eyes of everyone else. 

• To gain sympathy for others? Making themselves the martyr is a way to get support and sympathy from people around them. 

But in a reality, when you badmouth your ex, it doesn't reflect on him or her, it reflects on you.  Is that what you wanted to say? When you trash your ex on your date, he or she will wonder if you aren't over your ex.  They will start wondering why you put up with someone that so stupid or mean or abusive.  They will wonder if you will say the same about them.

I didn't say that you have to lie or say nice things about your ex if there is aren't good things to say.  It means you need to deal with the past, and the focus on reporting the facts rather than being mean.  Be careful with the words you choose.  

From time to time we all let one slip on an ex we dislike.  But it should be the exception, not the rule.  You can't play the game of love and not get hurt from time to time. 

Grieve.... learn from it... and finally move on..........

Anyhoo, what is the meanest thing you have ever heard a date say about an ex? 

Signed off for now

LOLA