Empty nest syndrome

Dear Diary,

I have been a single parent with two kids on tow after divorced with my ex-husband of 4 years in 1996.  With 2 sons with age of 3 years and 6 months, it quite stressful but I managed to survive until now.  

Right now the elder son is 19 yo and currently enrolling a degree in oil & gas course in local university while the younger one  is 16 yo and studying in one of the best military school. 

They have been studying in boarding school since 2010.  Hence, I have been living alone most of the time and occasionally empty nest syndrome steps in.  Even though I have career obligation, as mother who has tied my identity to care taking and nurturing as my primary role, my life is definitely effected by the syndrome.  

Hence, after almost three years on-off long distance mom-sons relationship, I have a few tips to ease the impact of empty nest syndrome.  

• Remind yourself that it is normal to feel sad during this transition.  Your deep attachment to your child indicated the positive quality of your love for your children.  It is healthy to miss them.

• Redefine your children's departure as a new beginning, instead of a loss or sad ending.  Reframe the change as an opportunity for you to start a new life and do many of the things you were unable to do while you were raising your children. 

• Stay connected.  In this new era you can email, texting, facebooking, skype, etc.

• Don't hesitate to lean on friends or family for support, particularly the ones that have alson been through the syndrome themselves.  You might surprised to see how compassionate your friends and family can be.

• Pamper yourself with something nice or do something that you have been wanting to do like get a massage, take a yoga class, or take a small vacation.  With the time you have, you practically can do anything your heart desire.

• Don't try to accelerate your recovery period and allow the grieving process to occur and run its course.  Don't make any major changes in your life.  Plan properly.

• You can volunteer yourself with a local charity.  Get involve in helping others and focus your attention on trying to make their lives better. It will make you feel purposeful again.

No matter what, always stay positive; both in thinking and attitude, and live your life to the fullest.

Signed off for now

LOLA