I'm a daddy's girl

Dear Diary,

I can be considered as a happy child when I was young.  As the youngest from 3 girls, I am lucky that I'm the daddy's girl.

Basically, my dad doted on me, always being protective and always give me whatever I want, be it material wise or attention wise.  As a daddy's girl, I definitely aware that I was always my dad's life and more often than not, took advantage of the fact that he can't stand to see my cry.  I can never do anything wrong and is as innocent as the day is long. 

Lots of time I practically took advantage of my dad's affection to my benefit.  One occassion I had charged my car's repair cost tripple that the original price.  Another occasion, I bought something so expensive and charged back to my dad's account.  By the way, I had the access of my dad's bank accounts whereby my mum didn't have the pleasure to do that.  In addition, I had dyed my hair colour to the extreme that he was practically stunned when he saw it for the first time (and he still has to pay for it).

He always try his very best to shelter me from all the unsavory aspects of life, preventing me from developing independence.  With the view that I am delicate and so helpless can easily be called into little princess.

At the same time, being a daddy's girl means I have great particularity for my dad and will do anything and everything to please him.  I always put him on top of world where no other... let me stress it out again.... NO OTHER man could ever measure up.  I strive to impress my dad, seeking his approval and highly concerned about how he thinks of me.

Now he is gone forever. He left me in 2006 due to liver cancer.  I managed to take care and  nurse him for four weeks in two different admission.  I was always by his side, chatted with him, read him news, told him current gossip especially on his favourite artists eventhough he was comatose on his final weeks.  I was glad I had done everything I could to make his final journey as easy as possible. I never left his bed except at one time where I need to do something at home.  Of all the days, I took that day to go home and took bath and he took his last breath while I was on the way back to hospital.  To think positively, maybe he didn't want me to see it happens. 

He was not perfect, of course.  But I never doubted his love for me and others.  His love was so constant and unconditional.  Certainly, my dad is one of Allah's greatest gifts to me, his little girl.

I love you infinity and beyond.... ABAH

Signed off for now

LOLA