Peers...

Dear Diary,

I have been working in various fields in different companies for almost 20 years. So, I have some shares of experience on peer-to-peer collaboration or how to be a great work partner.  

Don't be a control freak!

If you have the constant urge to control, be it situations, people or even conversations, it will definitely undermine effective collaboration with your work partners.  Partnering is all about give-and-take process in which no one gets to play the BOSS.  Please listen and watch for verbal and non-verbal clues that suggest other people are feeling pressured or being pushed.  One of the best ways to give up control in a conversation is to ask more open-ended questions and make fewer opinionated statements.

Spend time with them

The more time you spend working together, the easier and more natural to partnering process will feel.  Peers that get together often feel more comfortable asking for input, help, and participation that to those who avoid each other.  Peers who engage other peers whenever they need something will receive a colder shoulder or less helpful response.  Effective collaborative peers (extroverts or introverts), know the value of cultivating and building working relationship.

Resolve any past partnership failures

Old conflicts or arguments affect the way people relate to one another, either in present or future.  You should take initiative to resolve any prior relationship issues in order to pave the way for better and more productive collaboration in the future.  Peers who resolve their differences will also feel less stress in work related.  How about if you are faced with a peer who doesn't seem willing to improve the relationship? You can try these approach:

• Can you look at the situation from their perspective? Have you isolated the key issues or problems? It may be that what you thought was the problem is not what is actually bothering him. 
• You are the only person you can control.  Even if your peer is hanging onto a grudge, make sure that you continue to act and relate in a manner that is professional and collaborative.  Maybe if you continue to take the high road, he might come around in time.
• To work with others whenever possible.  You may still need to conduct business with that peer, but when given the choice, it is most productive to work with those who reciprocate.

Communicate on your peers' behalf

Effective communication is one of the most reliable predictors of a healthy partnership.  Keep peers in the loop and represent one another well in the meetings/conversations are great partners.  Communicating with peers should be on regular basis and it is also crucial for peers to communicate well on each other's behalf.  We should be willing and able to represent our work partners' interests and needs when that person is not present in the conversation or meeting.  You may need to defend them (so long as it concrete, legitimate and for the company's benefits), and also represent their opinions or concerns. Great partners do this even when they do not agree with their peers POV. When represent your peer in a positive light, you communicate that respect and care for peers is a key organisational value.

 If you can't say anything nice, just keep quite!

Don't you ever bad mouth peers in front of others.  Trust me, it never pays to talk badly about peers, because it will burns bridges that you may need later on.  Speak respectfully about others, even if you think ill of them.  Remember, people who talk about others behind their back end up looking bad themselves.  It is immature, unprofessional, and destructive to bad mouth peers. The best way to deal with difference of opinion or disagreement is to directly communicate it.... in a productive way... and to the person involved.

Take ownership of problems and challenges

Don't pass the buck!  This situation can put a damper on a partnership faster than being hung out to dry by the peer.  Collaborative peers own problems and concerns and do not shift the blame onto other peers.  If you have a complaint on how someone is handling a situation, discuss with that person directly before taking it to the next level of management or his boss. Otherwise, you could burn bridges not only with your peer, but the upper level as well. When communicating, please present a fair and balance view of the problem, including the part of it that you own.

Share credit please!

Success comes from collaboration of all players and they should SHARE the credit.  Yes, while it may be true that one person's idea was the catalyst for the breakthrough, the overall success was a product of joint effort.  By ensuring everyone feels a part of success, it will give positive momentum into the next project or initiative.

Know the needs and concerns of peers, managers, customers

It is easier to be good partners when we understand the needs and motivations of those with whom we regularly work with.  Then we are in a position to anticipate needs, warn of emerging problems, and share ideas with peers if we know what is important to others. You should be able answer these questions: 

• What are their needs and goals? What is their purpose in the company?
• What are their interest and motivation?
• What are their strength and weaknesses, their unique skills and talents?
• What are their hot buttons and what frustrates them most? 
• How do they react to changes?
• Your expectation on them? Their expectation on you?

Be the great peer to them... because  "What goes around, comes around"!

Signed off for now

LOLA