Second chance

Dear Diary,

Most of us will have the experience of giving your other half a second chance at some point of time.  I have my own fair share.  My partner of 3 years has cheated on me and asked for a second chance. He said that he's so remorse with what he had done to me, all the pain that he had caused me. There are a lot of questions that playing in my mind e.g. 

• Why the relationship didn't work the first time? 
• Will it work on the second time? 
• Will I finally forgive him? 
• Will I be able to forget the pain? 
• Can I trust him? 
• What is it different this time?
• Is he worth it?
• Is he willing to make concessions and put the time and effort into saving our relationship?
• Is he willing to admit his mistakes?

Yes, after deep-thinking and soul searching, I finally decided to give him another chance, hoping that it's going to be the last.  However, there are certain things that I need to be considered/prepared when giving him a second chance::

1.  Do my homework well - It is crucial to avoid creating an issue over a tiny weeny thing that could have easily been sorted.  

2. Do a little soul-searching - Sit back, reflect and meditate on the reasons for misunderstanding.

3.   Do only what I am  really sure can work - Don't proceed and expect more than what is achievable as far as the issue is concern.

4.  Do the groundwork - Both sides may have a problem putting their pride aside, but someone has to step in at the end of the day. 

5.  Make the issue known - Identify the real culprit on what exactly ruined the relationship and discuss with each other.  It might hurt a lot for awhile, but at least both of us want to make things right.

6.  Let time and space heal wounds - If things with my partner seem to be hitting the wall other than growing positively,we  try and give each other some "space apart".  

7.  Take responsibility - If he seems to think that you are the one on the wrong and I know it's true, the best I can do is "own up" the blame and via versa.

8.  Have a cooling off period - If the issues I have with him seems to want to head for a fight, I need back up and give each other time to cool off first before picking up the discussion 

9.  Bygone be bygone - Don't ever bring up the issue especially on his mistakes for no apparent reason.  It feels like put salt on the open wound.

As it is said, "it is better the devil you know, that the angel you don't"......................

Signed off for now

LOLA