Dear Diary,
I realized now that to heal my broken heart is harder than I thought. It feel like being underwater when I need to breathe. I build my live with him, someone that I trust and care for, and suddenly, in the blink of an eyes, everything is gone. The only left is feeling sorrow, angry, heartache and questions like what am I going to do now, and what is my way forward, etc.
At the moment, all I can do is to give myself some ME time. After being together almost 3 years, now is the time to take a step back, evaluate your life and move on to the next challenge. "Everyone falls down, but it is how you get back up that defines you".....
I must say I still feel as though someone has ripped my heart out, stepped on it, and threw it away. And all these feeling multiply by 100. That's how I feel right now. But people said it is normal to feel sad, and it's okay to cry or get upset. Going through grief is just another step along the path to recovery. So, i'm letting myself grieve.
In order to move on I need to remove all the memories of him from my everyday life. It means, I have to remove everything that reminds me of him. The key word is remove... not destroy.. At the same time, I think I have to disconnect my life with any social network, at least for the time being until I am completely heal. Also, in order not to hurt my feeling further, I guess it is better not to see each other, otherwise things will go haywire.....
So, this is what I'm going to do for the time being....
Again, wish me luck!
Signed off for now
LOLA
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